Eating Together When We're Apart

One of the joys of life you may be missing right now is being able to eat together with those you love. Food is a gift from the hand of an exceedingly generous God, and eating together is one of the key ways that societies and friendship groups form close knit connections. 

It has always been like this. 

In the first century, eating together was bound by social custom. According to New Testament scholar Jerome Neyrey, these unwritten social codes regulated who ate with whom, what and where one ate, and even where one would sit at mealtimes. Like would dine with like, as equals, and rarely outside of their class. Eating together was a way of saying to those one dined with, “You and I are equals, I accept you, I am with and for you.” 

That is the reason why Jesus’ eating habits were so often criticised. One of the main accusations thrown at Jesus was that he ate with tax collectors and sinners (Lk 5:30, 7:34, 15:2, 19:7). Neyrey articulates Jesus’ actions like this: 

“Jesus’ selection of table companions is no mere lapse of regard for the customs of his day but a formal strategy. Although likes should eat with likes, by eating with sinners and foreigners Jesus formally signals that God extends an inclusive invitation to non-observant and sinful outsiders for covenant membership and for status as forgiven persons.” 

By eating together with those that society shunned, Jesus was showcasing God’s acceptance of them. This scandalised the Law-abiding faithful. Not only did Jesus eat with the outcast, he even challenged the elite to do the same (Lk 14:12-24). Reflecting on Jesus’ eating practices led one Lukan scholar to summarise that in “…Luke’s Gospel Jesus is either going to a meal, at a meal, or coming from a meal. In Luke’s Gospel, Jesus got himself killed because of the way he ate.”

Jesus did not discriminate when it came to dinner companions; Jesus also ate with the social elite, often accepting invitations to dine with those who had a high level of social status as well as the means to put on a banquet (Lk 7:36, 11:37, 14:1). Such was the message of the Kingdom, that all, regardless of their station or status, were accepted by God.

The social customs of the first century do not hold sway in Australia in the 21st century. Yet, we still have rules that guide the choice of our eating companions (e.g. we tend not to eat with those we don’t get along with, invite total strangers over, or allow just anyone to join our important meals with important people). Therefore, though not directly analogous, inviting someone over for a meal sends a profound message that still communicates a similar idea today as it did in Jesus’ day – “You and I are equals, I accept you, I am with and for you.”

But how can we eat together when we are isolated?

One practical way is the age-old practice of cooking a meal or some other small item and delivering it in person. It is fascinating how that small, practical act communicates so much.

My wife and I recently started a Facebook group for the members of our estate as a way to bring our community together, and to be a faithful witness of Christ during Covid-19. One of the couples that joined posted that they had just come back from the hospital with a 10-day old baby girl. My wife immediately offered to cook a meal, as did two other women. Suddenly, three relative strangers are cooking a meal for a fourth. In a strange way, all four households shared in that moment and experienced a form of community; eating together, though apart. 

There are other ways too. I have heard of some people Ubering a meal to other families doing it tough. Or of families sharing a meal across zoom (although seeing a close up of me shovelling food in my mouth might be enough to abruptly end the call). It doesn’t require a great amount of skill, ingenuity, or even money. It simply requires intentionality; eyes to see who we could be a blessing to, and a will to reach out. 

If we are going to emulate Jesus, we need to eat like he did. That will inevitably include others – some whom we may know and love deeply, others whom we may not yet know, and still others whom society would not applaud. But when we eat like Jesus ate, it communicates the message of the One who comes to dwell with us; I am with and for you.

Andrew Groza is the Victorian State Director for Alphacrucis College. He is passionate about the church, leadership, organisational culture, preaching, family, coffee and great food (not necessarily in that order) and is blissfully married with two adorable daughters.